‘Seriously mate, he’s got to sort it out. It’s getting ridiculous now.’

Lauren sat back on the sofa and repositioned her arm which was getting stiff from resting it on her bump trying to hold her phone up to her face.

‘I mean, he used to be quite romantic really. Like for example, he’d do the shopping and he’d always bring me back a little treat. You know, a Snickers or a bottle of Rioja or something.’

She held the phone up a little higher so she seemed a bit less chinny.

‘The other day he came home and handed me this pack of Actimel, you know those tiny little bottles. And he was like ‘you’ve got to start drinking these, love. It’s bacteria, it’s good for you. And for her.’ Like I’m not already only ever thinking of her by not eating so much fried stuff and shoving in the veggies.’

Her face loomed at her on the screen. New pimples cresting her cheeks. She never got spots before she was pregnant, yet here they were, another thing to mind about.

‘I mean, it’s not exactly romantic is it? Mind you, it was being romantic that got us into this mess in the first place. Still, he better up his game. I’m not having it. Silly sod. Gotta love him really.’